In this moment it must seem I've been reduced to measuring progress in terms of money and movie. Did we get the match for finishing funds? How close are we to a locked picture?
When I take a step back I can see the bigger picture.
Since I started this project I have seen progress, and not just the movie and money kind. The conversation is shifting about maternity care and home birth. More people are speaking up. Women are organizing across the country and around the world. Doctors like this one are talking about their own experience. This one took an honest look at the available evidence on home birth and changed his position. He published his perspective in the New England Journal of Medicine. This year on Labor Day there will be rallies across the country to improve birth.
This project is a part of changing the tide.
Whenever I'm feeling discouraged I think about the audiences who screened the current cut and the meaningful discussions that took place afterward. I think about the first year med student and the change I hope to see for future generations.
In 4 days I would love to be done fundraising and move on with finishing.
It feels like I've been at the edge of "failure to progress" for months now. It feels so vulnerable to keep asking.
I've heard other filmmakers say that fundraising is the worst part of filmmaking. I'm not going to say I've enjoyed it, but I'm trying to see it as a practice in asking and receiving. Part of building community and being comfortable with vulnerability. I'm remembering how powerful and vulnerable I felt giving birth and the support that helped me through.
Image Credit: Erin Wrightsman
Thank you for being part of my network of support. I truly can't wait to finish this film and share it with each and every one of you.